


Mission Matchmaker: Bert n' Ernie

by My_Black_Crimson_Rose6



Series: Filled Prompts [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 3D gear, Annie being protective, Bertholdt being compared to a small bird, Bertholdt has a sweet tooth, Biting, Boys Kissing, Butts, Cuddling & Snuggling, Denial, Dry Humping, F/F, F/M, Flower Crowns, Hair Pulling, Humor, Kissing, Krista is eeeeevvvvvvviiiiillllll~, Licking, M/M, Making Out, Man Pain, Poor Bertholdt, Romance, Set in the training days, Sharing a Bed, Sleepy Kisses, Swearing, Under all the goddess-ness-ish?, Underage Drinking, assumptions are a dangerous thing, back when everything was fun and happy, just so you know, more tags for later I need to keep writing, slowish burn, this is long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2013-08-16
Packaged: 2017-12-22 14:27:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/914279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Black_Crimson_Rose6/pseuds/My_Black_Crimson_Rose6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bertholdt does something nice for Eren and he wishes to return the favor. He notices that Bertholdt acts differently around Reiner and concludes that he has a crush on him. So he's going to make sure that they get together. At first he only roped Armin and Mikasa to help him, but soon word broke out in the camp and others decide to assist in the whole "Match making" shing-dig.</p><p>They even go so far as writing their plans down and giving each other code-names.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt found here: http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/524.html?thread=1061900
> 
> New Title everyone. Old title was: "It began with one and ended with many, who knew!"

**Bertholdt and Reiner; the Matchmaker**

**Mission Review**

**Objective:** to get Bertholdt and Reiner together by any means necessary.

 **The Targets:** Reiner “Ernie” Braun and Bertholdt “Bert” Fubar.

**Operation Cuddle Bug:**

                The goal is to achieve cuddling, and bed sharing preferably. This operation will take the longest, so for successful results this must begin first. The players intrusted in this duty are Eren “Cupid” Yeager and Armin “Oops” Arlert.

**Operation Throw Down:**

                To achieve optimum time in each other’s presence or better known as “make sure that they’re paired together in every training exercise that we do”. And the player would be excused of all maiming and embarrassment that would be caused to the third party. The player instructed in this duty is Mikasa “It’s Sasha Fault” Ackerman.

**Operation Majestic Swans:**

                Funded by the steady supply of food that main player Sasha “Omnomnom” Braus seems to constantly stumble upon. Operation Majestic Swans came into consideration when player Armin “Oops” Arlert discovered targets “Bert and Ernie” sharing bits of their meals with the other. Player Sasha “Omnomnom” Braus’ dream is to steal them a nicely cooked swan. In which she believes to be a symbol.

**Operation Queer Alert or Operation Cockblock:**

                This one is focused on Target “Ernie”, and is one of the most important in the whole mission. Operation Queer Alert is to focus on the relations between “Ernie” and Krista “F.C” Lenz—or the tearing down of that relationship. Player Connie “I thought you were gay!” Springer has been elected to see that this is a success due to his inability at anything tactful.

**Operation Connect the Dots:**

                This operation is divided into two sections. Players Marco “Freckles” Bodt and Jean “Smooth” Kirschtein are to handle this. Player Marco “Freckles” Bodt is not a major player, his job is to take note on how the targets are behaving and if the mission is moving towards a success. While player Jean “Smooth” Kirschtein preforms this job as well, Player “Smooth” is the only player that actually drops hints at a relationship through dating tips and random pick-up lines. Player “Freckles” has been known to bump into the targets to force collision, or a press of bodies.

**Operation Wink and Kiss:**

                For players that have not yet been given specific Operation titles and still wish to assist.

**Noteworthy Players:**

Krista “F.C” Lenz—this player does not fully come to play until later, and she later gains her player name from her actions.

                Ymir “don’t give me a stupid code name”—is only doing this because of Krista, and finds this amusing.

                Annie “kill joy” Leonhardt—it is unknown if she’s helping the mission or not. She has been seen shaking her head and chuckling when she overhears their plans.

 

 


	2. Get your foot out of my face//-\\Get your ass off my face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They would all agree that it started with Eren. The reason would differ from person to person though. The story would change as well. Some would describe it as stupid; some would say it was brilliant.
> 
> But in the end, that one thing taught them to work in a team. To analyse their opponents and utilize their assets—and to trust in each other.
> 
> Yes, the “Mission” may have begun with one, but in the end. In the end there stood many.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will be going back to do some proper editing of this thing later (when my mind hasn't been drained by this beast). 
> 
> Until then, enjoy!

It started with Sasha and food.

But who where they kidding? It always started with Sasha and her endless yearning of it. 

The training camp was quiet, they were all meant to be in bed and sleeping. But at last, that was never the case. There was always at least one rebellious soul that refused to sleep—and this night Eren’s eyes refused to stay shut for more than five minutes.

So he took a walk, in hopes that a little more exercise would be what he needs to sleep—or he was hoping to take a walk before running into Sasha. Her cheeks puffed out with crumbs smeared along them. Her arms held a small pile of breads, fruits, and was there a bit of meat in there as well?

“Oh fuck,” Eren hissed his hands finding their way into his hair and tugging. On all the nights, why was it tonight that he had to stumble into her. On top of that he could here footfalls running towards them. Wait, footfalls? “Oh fuck, oh fuck,” he shot up from the ground. He did not want to be caught by Keith with Sasha, and even more so with food—not again.

Once was already once too many for Eren’s liking.

Her face broke out in horror as she quickly gathered a few fallen food items and running—much like how he was. Head down, legs stretched as far as they could go. But he could hear Keith catching up to him—closing in. He was going to die by the hands of Keith, and it was all Sasha’s fault.

Suddenly, a set of hands took hold of his shirt and dragged Eren between two buildings, tucking themselves into the dark and away from the poseurs. And moments later Keith rushed on by, Eren let out a breath that he wasn’t aware he was holding in.

“I could’ve handled that by myself,” Eren huffed out pulling away from his _savour_. He hated that word, hated feeling in that was in debt to anyone else as well. It was bad enough that Mikasa was constantly babying him; at least that how the other’s put it as. He turned back to face the person who saved him a weeks’ worth of cruel and unusual punishment, but his gaze landed on the other’s chest.

He snapped his eyes up to look the other in the eye, “Bertholdt, shouldn’t you be in bed?” He grimaced, wasn’t he supposed to be thanking him? Urhg, maybe he should try that again. This was the first time he actually had to talk to the guy alone.

“Can say the same for you,” Bertholdt replied rounding the corner that they were hiding in. Eren jogged to catch up to the older (well, he at least looked older to Eren) teenager, when they were side by side Bertholdt finally shrugged, “trouble sleeping.”

Eren nodded in understanding. That was the very same reason that he was out here, after all. The pair didn’t speak anything further, and soon they were back to the dorm and climbing up their bunks. Eren sharing the top landing with Armin, while bellow him slept Reiner and Bertholdt. The tall teen nodded at Eren, his own way at wishing him good night.

-

It was only during supper the next night that Eren realised that he forgot to thank Bertholdt. And he couldn’t just go up now and thank him, no now he had to do something to say it. Urgh, the ideals that he was taught! Across the room Bertholdt’s lips drew up into a brief, but genuine smile and his blonde haired companion let out a deep laugh.

Something clicked in the back of Eren’s mind, setting a question in his mind.

_What if?_

Reiner smiled at Krista when she walked by and directed a comment towards the blonde male; Eren watched Bertholdt’s smile drop and his eyes narrow slightly towards his blonde haired companion.

 _What if?_ More like _no fucking way!_

Bertholdt has a crush for Reiner and no one seemed to notice it. How could no one see that?!

They’re always together. They share the same bunk level, and Eren knows that people move in their sleep, so it wouldn’t surprise him if they ended up _cuddling_. It’s happened a few times with Armin, he admits this only in the safety of his own mind. They eat together, often going so far as _stealing_ food _off_ of the _other’s plate_. And whatever down time that the trainees got, Reiner and Bertholdt was always found together. They were dependant on one another, wither they noticed it or not.

 And then there was the matter of the smile. The smile that only seemed to be reserved for Reiner. And the fact that Bertholdt wasn’t as stiff and more likely to actually do something even slightly childish around Reiner, and only Reiner. Like punching the blonde in the arm, or pushing him around and _laughing_.

Then Krista, that whole reaction with Krista just screamed jealousy. Which the whole camp knew Reiner has a thing for her—Ymir and he often argued over it. Things along the lines of “marry me Krista,” and “you leave my Krista alone” sounded with Bertholdt sweating and scratching his head in the background.

“I’m going to need the two of you guys to help me out with something,” Eren voiced his eyes settling on his two friends, Armin and Mikasa. The two nodded within moments, blindly trusting him to help him with whatever it is that he needed help with. He leaned forward, “I think Bertholdt has a major crush on Reiner, so I’m going to make sure they get together. But I can’t do this alone; I don’t exactly know what I need to do to make sure that this happens, so Armin you’re going to be in charge of the planning.”

Out of the corner of Eren’s eye he spotted Annie sit up straighter, before letting out a chuckle.

“We need to start this as soon as possible,” Eren added and leaned away to continue with his meal.

-

**We begin with Operation Cuddle Bug. Both Cupid and I know what to do.**

-

Eren wasn’t completely wrong in his assessments. He and Reiner were close, and he did find himself losing his cool when Reiner would gush about Krista. He hadn’t had a clue if Reiner’s doing this to piss of Ymir or if he genially cared for the girl in that way—but Bertholdt wasn’t exactly thrilled about the whole thing.

And it wasn’t because he had a crush.

Or any weird felling in the pit of his stomach that created the images of him swallowing a dozen butterflies and they were trying to escape back up through his throat. He wasn’t exactly aware when the feeling actually started; it could’ve always been there for all he knew. But he knew that the fluttering went mad when ever Reiner would whisper in his ear, a secret between friends, or the times that Bertholdt would wake up during the night with his fingers threaded thought Reiner’s, or when their legs pressed against each other when they sat too close together.

And then there was the feeling of his stomach dropping and it felt like his throat was being torn open on the inside and the taste of iron filled his mouth. It hurt, and he’s learned to prepare for the feeling whenever he saw Krista. Or whenever Reiner noticed the tiny blonde girl.

But he wasn’t interested in Reiner or anything; it was just a natural reaction to get when your best friend completely forgets your existence. Right? _Right?_

Those were the thoughts that clouded his brain when he settled down to bed the night, his body facing Reiner, who had the inside bed from their landing. The blonde’s back faced away from him, and he had the stupid yearning to trail his fingers up Reiner’s neck and tickle his hair line. Weird, that was really weird, Bertholdt thought before sighing and tucking his arm under his head and clenching his eyes shut.

His body was just beginning to relax when the bed creaked above him, and leading to the ladder. Bertholdt ignored it, these were normal sounds. But when a foot stepped down and pressed down on his shoulder and neck, the large teen jumped. His body jumping from the blankets and crashing into Reiner. The blonde shot up in bed, thumping his head loudly before cursing darkly. “What the fuck Bertl?” he hissed down at his wide eyed friend who was draped over his lap. Bertholdt’s hands clenched in Reiner’s shirt and one foot in the air, the dark haired teen tried to slow his heartbeat to something more reasonable.

Armin poked his head into view, “oops, I’m so sorry. I slipped,” he whispered to the older teens with a small apologetic smile on his face. Bertholdt glared at the blonde and slowly eased himself away from Reiner and back into his own bed. This time he laid down facing away from Reiner, and no his face was not flushing at the thought that he was just pressed along Reiner’s side and his ass was nearly sitting in the blonde’s lap. That was nothing to get all flustered about, Bertl. Nothing at all.

His breath evened out, and he found himself back in the serenity of a near dream state when Armin’s smelly foot pressed into his face. The dark haired teen jumped again, feet kicking out in shock. A grunt of pain sounded from behind him and Bertholdt actually couldn’t bring himself to care. He gripped the blonde’s ankle threw the boy’s leg out with his own grunt. “Go to bed Armin,” he grunted flipping back over to face Reiner, rubbing the smell from his nose on his pillow as he turned.

Operation cuddle bug continued on for another three days. Every morning and night Bertholdt would be stepped on by either, or both, Eren or Armin. And it would just set him in a horrible mood for a good couple of hours.

Stupid kids.

Stupid lack of sleep.

-

**Operation Throw Down has officially begun. Are you ready… er… It’s Sasha’s Fault?**

-

Day one of the Operation began with Mikasa walking up to Sasha, Bertholdt’s training partner for the day and staring at her in silence. Sasha gulped, and Connie glanced between the two girls. Mikasa’s eyes narrowed and a sweat began to break out on Sasha’s brow. “I- Wha-“ Sasha stuttered her eyes shifting for the girl and the small crowd that was gathering around them. Consisting of Eren, who glared at her, Armin, Jean and Marco.

“You’re going to switch partners so that Reiner and Bertholdt are together, or I will lock you in the washrooms and tell everyone that you’ve fallen to an episode of explosive diarrhea,” the scarf wearer replied blinking once. Sasha gapped at the girl, before shutting her mouth and gulped. Her cheeks already darkening with embarrassment. “Now go. Run along. Go hide from Keith,” Mikasa shooed the girl away with a flick of her wrist.

Minutes after Sasha ran off, Keith stopped over his eyes narrowed and his lips frowned. “Where the hell is Braus?”

“Explosive diarrhea,” Mikasa replied the corner of her lips pulling up slightly to form a small smirk. A few people around them broke out into giggles. Their instructor’s eyes narrowed not sure whether he should believe her or not. No, when the training began he will make damn sure that the trouble maker was where she was supposed to be—or so help him!

“Fubar, find a new partner!” he shouted turning away from the kids and storming off to find Braus.

Armin, who was to be partnered with Reiner that day, nudged the taller blonde towards Bertholdt, “Reiner will do it. I’ll just go train with Mikasa and Krista!” he exclaimed before running off. Bertholdt and Reiner raised their brows in question but didn’t voice any.

Day two of the Operation saw to Bertholdt’s partner being sent to medical after Mikasa claimed that Sasha bumped into her and triggered her natural reflexes. It wasn’t her fault that poor John was in the way of a round house kick to the head.

John was later one of the trainees that quit, a few days after being released from medical.

It was totally Sasha’s fault.

Day three Hannah was assigned to be partnered up with Bertholdt, and Mikasa knew just what to do. The dark haired girl stopped in front of Hannah, and the smaller of the two couldn’t come to an understanding as to _why_ Mikasa was targeting all Bertholdt’s training partners. “Change with Reiner or I’ll tell everyone that you’re expecting,” she spoke in monotone as a smile slowly started to break out on her face.

Hannah gasped waving her hands wildly, “but I’m not!” she exclaimed before noticing that people were beginning to look this way—expecting a scene to break out. Oh god, they were about to cause a scene. “Mikasa I’m not, don’t say these things. You know I can be kicked out for this!” She whispered… forcefully? Hannah wasn’t exactly sure how one whispered forcefully, but hopefully she was able to pull it off. Hopefully. “I’m not,” she added weakly eyes widening.

“They don’t need to know that,” Mikasa shrugged before stuffing her hands into her pockets. Why was she making such an effort with this? She didn’t even like Bertholdt or Reiner—well; she didn’t even know them or care in getting to know them. But Eren had asked her for her help, and she was going to do her damn best in helping him, even if that ended up sending someone to medical (check) and someone into tears (almost a check for that one too).

Hannah shook her head, “but I can’t just switch—“

Mikasa took a deep breath and opened her mouth, “Hannah—!” Hannah dove at the Asian, her hands firmly clasped over her mouth.

“Oh my god! Fine, fine I’ll switch partners! Just stop everything that you’re doing!” she shouted catching more odd looks. Bertholdt and Reiner looked at each other, one raising an eyebrow before the other shrugged and they both turned away from the scene. Guess it was just going to be the two of them again. Mikasa’s shoulders raised with pride when both Eren and Armin gave her thumbs up at the mission accomplished (at least for today).

When Keith’s figure appeared beside her, Mikasa was ready to explain. “I had overheard Sasha mention something about Hannah possibly expecting.” Sasha’s head shot up and a cry of ‘wha-?’ rang through the training ground. “I wished to know if that was true or not and based off the answer I was going to suggest the appropriated course of actions that she could take to insure the safety of both herself and her child. But my concern was all for not, she is not expecting.” Keith started at her for a moment before shaking his head and walking away—there was no words worth speaking dealing with this scenario. Best to just leave it at that.

And if Franz’ face went white after hearing that no one commented on it.

On day four Mikasa did not expect to see herself in front of Marco, the freckled teen seeking her out just after their first meal. “You, Eren, and Armin are trying to hook Bertholdt and Reiner up, right?” the guy grinned arms crossing over his chest. Jean stood about two feet away from his friend, scratching the back of his head as he tried to give the two some privacy… without actually having to leave his friend’s side.

Mikasa tilted her head in the direction were Eren and Armin stood, both of them staring at them with looks ranging from annoyed to curious. “Yes,” she replied as she turned her attention back to the freckled teen.

Marco grinned, “Well I’m supposed to be Bertholdt’s training partner today—“he began, picking at the dirt under his fingernails. “But if you can get Jean and I into this little matchmaking exercise that you guys have started then I’ll be more than happy to switch.”

Jean’s mouth dropped, “whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa. Huh?! I did not agree to this!” he exclaimed before snapping his mouth shut. Actually he did—after the whole John episode both Marco and he put their heads together and concluded that those idiots were doing a really poor job at setting the two older boys up. And that they need help if they were going to pull all this through. Like a lot of help.

Because they seem to be forgetting a key person here—as in Reiner. They’re forgetting to add Reiner to the mix by focusing their attacks on Bertholdt. It’s extremely off balance, and Jean was surprised that Armin hasn’t picked up on that fact yet. Those three needed more people to help out and Marco and Jean had just the person to deal with Reiner.

Mikasa nodded to Marco, “yes.” Marco smiled over his shoulder to his friend and winked.

Bertholdt jogged to catch up with Mikasa on the fifth day—the only day that both Reiner and Bertholdt simply ignored their training partners for the day and paired up with each other. Bertholdt stopped in front of the girl, staring down at her. “You didn’t need to do or say all those things,” he spoke; Mikasa noticed the bags under his eyes. Operation cuddle bug was taking a toll on him—and it wasn’t turning out so good. He sighed scratching the back of his head, “next time just tell me these things instead of doing all this stupid shit. It won’t bother me.”

Mikasa nodded, “alright.” She walked around the taller teen, sighing suddenly and turning back to Bertholdt, “get some sleep alright? You don’t look like yourself with those circles under your eyes.” Bertholdt snorted and muttered something under his breath before giving the dark haired girl a nod.

-

**Operation throw down was a success! Well done “It’s Sasha’s fault”. And we’re proud to welcome three new members to our mission: “Freckles”, “Smooth”, and “I thought you were gay!” We will be continuing with Operation cuddle bug as planned.**

**“I thought you were gay”, Operation Rainbow—**

_Dude, no. We’re either going to call this thing Operation Queer Alert or Operation Cockblock._

**Fine, Operation Queer Alert will begin now. Destroy Target Ernie’s chances!**

-

Something was up, but the only thing that Bertholdt could actually focus on is trying to get some _fucking sleep_ that doesn’t **end up with him being sTEPED ON!** Even the safety of his own mind was starting to go. How long would it take for his sanity?

It’s been twelve days since his last restful, non-stepped on, sleep. And Bertholdt was starting to lose his cool. If those two idiots stepped on him one more time he was going to tie their asses to the tallest tree in the area and leave them there to die. He wasn’t even kidding.

Reiner picked at his morning oatmeal before diving his spoon into Bertholdt’s, “I don’t understand it, but your food always tastes better than mine,” he hummed around the spoon.  Bertholdt grunted resting his head against Reiner’s shoulder and letting out a content sigh. His heart beating loudly in his throat as he snuggled in. “You should eat Bertl,” the blonde squeezed his friend’s knee under the table. Bertholdt grunted in reply but not making a move to help himself. “Bertl, I’m not going to going to feed you,” Reiner replied shaking his shoulder to wake up the other boy. Bertholdt groaned in annoyance, moving his head away from Reiner’s shoulder before reaching for a spoon, “that’s my spoon—“ Bertholdt stabbed the gooey oats with Reiner’s spoon before stuffing it in his mouth, “—that’s my food.”

“Shut up Rein,” the dark haired boy slurred before rubbing his eyes tiredly.

The day passed like a typical day—they did their classes, he and Reiner sparred in training, and they soared through the woods in their 3D gear.

To say that Bertholdt was not up to standard was an understatement. He was moody, his movements sluggish and his aim was atrocious. He’s left with more bruises today than every other day combined. And people were noticing. Annie slinked up to walk in between Bertholdt and Reiner on their way to dinner. “I can beat them, if you want,” Annie suggested without bothering to look up at the dark haired boy.

Reiner cracked his neck loudly, “or you can just switch sides with me” he added smiling over Annie. Bertholdt nodded mumbling a quick ‘thanks’. He just wanted to go straight to bed, screw the food.

Actually, that’s what he was going to do.

“I’m going to bed,” he grumbled, leaving the blondes alone to share narrow eyed looks at each. Words were going to be had at dinner.

-

Annie set her bowl down beside Armin while Reiner sat between Marco and Eren. Both of their shoulders tense. “Stop,” was all Annie said leveling Eren a cold stare.

Armin gulped, “I-I don’t know what you’re suggesting—“he began a sweat breaking out on his forehead.

Connie snickered before faking a cough; “kill joy” was heard in between the two. The blonde girl barred her teeth at the boy in reply. “I said nothing, nothing at all!” he exclaimed throwing his hands up in surrender. Annie was scary as fuck; there was no way in hell that he was going to challenge her, not even for the sake of the mission.

“Leave Bertholdt alone,” Reiner asserts, “or you’ll face the consequences. And Annie or I won’t help you,” he stresses the point, a point that the rest weren’t actually sure what it was.

-

Bertholdt hadn’t bothered to change when he went to bed, Reiner noticed, the tall teen was still bound up in all the gear straps. The only thing missing was the brown jacket, which was lying on the floor. The blonde chuckled picking up the article of clothing before folding it and tucking it back into Bertholdt’s dresser, “must be beat” he spoke quietly to himself as he pulled back Bertholdt’s blankets.

Looks like Bertl took his idea to heart.

Reiner grunted rolling over to face his friend. Bertholdt’s arm covered his eyes, mouth wide and legs apart as he snored quietly. And he never snores. Reiner shook his head before reaching over to set a hand on Bertholdt’s chest. Over his heart. He smiled, the steady calm thumping settling his mind. He shut his eyes, hand gently clasping the other’s shirt as he slowly succumbed to sleep.

When the bunk house fell into a deep slumber (hours after Reiner had), one person decided to take action. Operation cuddle bug was still in process—plus, what was the worst thing that Bertholdt could do? Eren shrugged opening his canister of water that he hid under his pillow. Pouring a fair sized amount in his hand before capping the canister and hiding it under his pillow again, he rubbed his hands together quickly before laying back down on his stomach and sticking his arm down the gap between the wall and the bunk. He flicked his water covered fingers before quickly bringing his arm back up and wiping his hand on his blankets.

Eren heard nothing but the thump thumping of his heart beating loudly in his ears. It felt like his stomach was in knots and the warning that Reiner gave them at dinner repeating in his head. _This may have been a bad idea_ , Eren concluded just as a growl sounded in the bunk under him.

Oh shit.

_Oh shit._

**Oh shit!**

Bertholdt lunged over Reiner, nearly taking both himself and the blonde out of the bed as he hooked a leg on the stairs leading to the loft above his. “What the fuck?!” Reiner shouted his voice winded in both confusion and fear. With Bertholdt’s long reach he gripped the back of Eren’s shirt and Armin’s neck and threw them from the bunk. Both boys letting out a cry of both surprise and pain as they collided with the ground. The sleep that the occupants of the bunk house was broken as people began to wake up (Connie slept on; nothing could wake him at this hour).

“I didn’t do anything!” Armin shouted his hands clenched around Bertholdt’s wrist as the tall teen dragged the two boys kicking and screaming from the building by the collars of their shirts. The sounds of Eren and Armin yelling, sobbing, and calling for help rang loudly through the once quiet camp—now filled with worried conversations and trainees following the sound of chaos. The instructors on guard duty for the night found the source of all the noise outside the storage shed.  Trainee Eren bound and gagged with a panicked, but still enraged look in his green eyes. Moments later Trainee Armin was thrown from the shed tied in a similar fashion.

“What is going on out here?” demanded one of the guards as she took in the scene. Bertholdt took this as his cue to shut the shed door behind him, his 3D gear on, some rope hooked on his shoulder and _a look_ in his eyes. “Fubar, what do you think you’re doing?” the guard shouted.

Bertholdt threw the bound Armin over his shoulder and tucked Eren under his arm. “I’m taking out the garbage,” he replied coolly, giving the guard a blank look. The guard opened and closed her mouth, pointing at the boy before glancing back at the other guard—what the hell? She didn’t sign up for this when she agreed to look over the training development of some snot nosed kids!

The other guard shrugged, “just follow him and make sure he doesn’t kill any of them?” he suggested. The woman sighed but agreed. Keith could take care of this when news got back to him in… eh, about ten seconds.

Bertholdt took his captives to the tree line where he dumped Armin on the ground and activated his 3D gear. The gas propelling him high into the tree where he began to unwind the rope from his shoulder, “don’t move Eren, or I’ll hang you from this tree by your feet instead of just tying you to it,” he warned as he began to string the boy to the branch. When the knots were secure he swung down the branch underneath him and pulling on his bindings until Eren’s body was facing down. Bertholdt smirked with pride before returning to the ground for Armin. He then repeated the process, on the opposite side of the tree. When Bertholdt glanced down, a crowd of both trainees and instructors were staring up at the three of them. The tanned skinned teen sighed, digging the heel of his hand into his temple; he should leave now and try to catch as much sleep as he could.

“What the hell is going on here?!” The crowded split as Keith stormed though, “just what the **fuck** do you think you’re doing?” the bald man snarled, eyes following the trainee as he landed on the ground.

Bertholdt was too far gone to care that his might just get him in trouble, or that he would be standing at attention as he regarded his instructor. “Taking care of pests,” he replied in monotone, “and now I’m going to bed.”

-

Mikasa climbed up to the branch underneath Eren, “I should’ve listened,” he mumbled once she untied the gag. She shook her head before climbing over to Armin and doing the same. “So Mikasa, you gonna get us down?”

“No, I think you should take this time to reconsider your plans,” the Asian replied climbing up further into the tree. She’ll stay out here for as long as possible with her two idiots. Someone had to insure that they didn’t get their eyes pecked out.

“Is this a bad time to say that I have to pee?” Armin called out on the other side and Eren sighed. Okay, okay so they went a little too far with Operation Cuddle bug. But he wasn’t going to just scrap all that hard work and amusement just because he was staring down at the ground a few meters away. No way, he was not quitting this.

“We’ll let Operation Cuddle bug rest for three days, and allow the target to rest before we continue on as planned.”

-

_We’re calling this Operation Majestic Swans._

**_I don’t think either target Bert or target Ernie can be considered a swan._ **

_But they’re beautiful, and fierce and they mate for life~_

**That’s more of a myth—**

_No!_

**_Pota—_ **

_I will be referred to as Omnomnom, and my operation code name will be Majestic Swans. And I will get us a swan if it’s the last thing I do._

**Players “Smooth” and “Freckles”, you’re on as well.**

**_About fucking time!_ **

-

Day one of the three rest days was spent in the stupid tree. At least for Eren and Armin. No one wished to be strung up alongside the two _fail-makers_. “Fucking Jean and his stupid mouth,” Eren had hissed to himself for the rest of the day. A day spent in the tree.

With only Armin’s constants chattering and panic of “when is he going to let us down” to keep him company. Every few hours one of his fellow “players” (as they liked to call themselves) would provide them with water and a bite of bread. Every so often he would inquire about the targets.

Bertholdt was sleeping—sprawled out on his mouth wide open and drooling. Dead to the world.  Or curled up in a ball in between Reiner and his mattresses.  Or propped up against the wall. Or half off the bed… ass up in the air with a face buried in Reiner’s pillow… sleeping on top of Reiner—wait, whut?

He was still stuck in the stupid tree after dinner?

Should he start weeping and begging for one of those bastards that were snickering up at him to let him down?

No.

No!

No way in hell was he ever going to do that!

“I told you not to fuck around with him, and look at where that’s gotten you—in a tree, unable to fend for yourself.” Eren glared down at Reiner; even he came to laugh at _poor, stupid, idiotic Eren_. Reiner chuckled, shaking his head. “Keith has been using the two of you as examples for the whole day,” he grinned up at them. The older teen began to climb up to join them at their level.

“I thought you were in the bunk house,” Eren grumbled getting ready for the teasing to start. He did get himself stuck into this situation, he deserved it after all. Even Mikasa couldn’t help but throw a couple of comments around in regards to this… _mess._

“I was,” he shrugged climbing onto the branch that Eren was attached to. “But figured that at least one of you would need to take a shit by now,” he shrugged cutting the rope keeping Eren attached.

“Wait—wait! Wait!” his arms flailed as he fell. _This is how I’ll die_ , Eren thought bitterly just as his arms caught onto a branch and he flipped to land on the ground. His breath wheezed out of his lungs. His vision blurred and he could feel water _leaking_ from his eyes. He was **not crying**. His eyes were just leaking! Nothing to take notice of.

“No! No. Reiner, don’t!” Armin’s voice perched through his ache, and a flash of yellow and white fell from the tree. “Ack!”

So Reiner cut both of them out in the same fashion.

-

Day one also saw Reiner and Bertholdt sharing a bowl of onion soup.

-

Day two began like a normal day before **Mission Matchmaker: Bert n’ Ernie** began. As normal as living in the boys dorm could get, anyways. Reiner found himself sandwiched between Jean and Marco, having a normal conversation about how effective the technique that they had just learned the day before for their 3D maneuver gear would be in a particle situation. Like, say, when they would have to kill Titans.

“So what’s the deal with you and Bertholdt, anyways? You guys _have_ to be more than _just_ friends,” Jean inquired, changing the topic. Over Reiner’s shoulder Marco grinned in understanding—they had planned this. And it was going exactly according to plan.

Start off small.

Learn a few things.

Question the friendship.

Work up their courage.

Give them little pushes.

Give them a great big push.

And over all just hope for the best.

“We grew up together,” Reiner began his voice pinched tight in confusion, “we’re best friends.” His eyes narrowing, and searching Jean’s face—as if he was piecing together something. _Oh shit_ , Jean’s brain fired out as little alarm’s started to sing out. _Abort, abort! Duck and cover!_

Marco—oh blessed that Marco; just smiled, “we’re just wondering after all the stuff that’s been going on with Eren and Armin. Those two must have come to a conclusion that you guys were something _more_ , if you catch the drift.”

Reiner snorted, “And how could someone come to that conclusion?” He crossed his arms over his chest, his jacket pulled tight. Jean gulped, _he could pop my head off my shoulders with just one flex of those._

“Well you guys do end up curled up together most mornings,” Marco shrugged. Yeah, he went there. It was an unspoken rule that no one would mention that they would find the others snuggling up with their bunk mates. It like that unspoken rule that you don’t date your best friend’s crush. Bro’s don’t do that kind of shit to their bro’s. “When Bertholdt isn’t being stepped on or in weird ass positions,” Marco added as an afterthought.

“Like the two of you haven’t woken up nose to nose before,” Reiner rolled his eyes with a huff and his shoulders rising in defence.

“Or y’know staring at his ass when you think no one’s looking,” Jean shrugged. Reiner’s head snapped in his direction, and Jean could’ve sworn that he heard a crack. He was surprised that Reiner didn’t hurt himself—let alone Jean with the look that he was giving him. “It’s a nice ass! I won’t hold it against you, man!” he held his hands up in surrender.

Reiner’s hand shot forward, gripping Jean’s shirt and pulling the other towards him. “You leave him alone, or you’ll get to see that less than enjoyable side of me. Are we clear, Kirschtein?” Reiner snarled his breath coming out hot and moist against Jean’s face. He couldn’t help but shutter.

Reiner was known for being a nice and reliable guy. And Jean will admit to coming to the older teen at times. And never did he think that yes, Reiner is a person just like them, and that yes he too must have a temper. And it seems that Jean has stumbled upon it. Well file away and save that for later! “Cristal,” Jean gulped eyes widening further when Reiner moved him a centimeter closer only to just let him go. That was it.

Holy shit he felt like he just bit a bullet there. His heart was fluttering loudly in his ears, even as Reiner turned his back to the duo and marched out of the cabin.

“You sprung that one on him a little too soon Jean,” Marco snickered patting his friend on the shoulder.

Jean swallowed the thump in his throat and turned to address his partner in crime, “It’s not over. That reaction was what we want… at a less extreme state though, but it’s a start. Better than Operation Cuddle Bug.”

The two boys grinned at each other, “way better than Operation Cuddle Bug” Marco replied smugly. There looks brought new meaning to the phrase “the cat that caught the canary”, because damn that bird taste’s superb.

-

Sasha introduced them to honey that morning. And Bertholdt couldn’t help but dip his bread roll into it and licking his fingers clean. His body shaking pleasantly—like a little chickadee that puffed out his feathers and shook to show just how _happy_ it was; Sasha had said. Jean would have to take her word for it; he didn’t spend his time watching the different emotions that birds expressed.

Jean did notice that Reiner’s eyes zoned in and out of focus as Bertholdt sucked the honey from his fingers… and when the blonde had to leave suddenly right after. And that Bertholdt had a sweet tooth that they _didn’t know about!_

-

Annie sat beside Bertholdt on the steps leading to male dorm cabin, “they’re sticking their noses where they don’t belong.” Her light blue eyes flaring up in the lanterns lamination, “do you want me to remove them?” she inquired as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Bertholdt blinked, “what do you mean?” he inquired angling his head towards her.

“Eren and his group of idiots have gotten the idea that you need help in your pursuit of adoration for Reiner. Which is stupid. If the two of you felt that you were ready for that type of relationship one of you would have made it clear by now.” Annie’s eyes narrowed, “so do you want me to remove their noses?”

Bertholdt blinked owlishly. Everything that was going on was starting to make a lot of sense now. Even more so were Jean’s words from earlier today, _“he likes you._ ”

Oh.

_Oh…_

Bertholdt shook his head, “no, just let’s see to what extremes they’ll go to.” _And let’s see how much he could use this to his advantage_ , his mind added.

-

Day three came and went. Or so it was supposed to. The meals were eaten, their exercises were over for the day and everyone was left to mingle in their cabins. And of course that secrete little exchange between Annie and Bertholdt that no one was the wiser about, let’s not forget about that. In the far corner on the top bunk sat not only the normal two occupants of Armin and Eren but Connie, Jean and Marco as well. Their heads close together as they whispered about their Mission. The trio of Jean, Armin and Marco agreed that Operation Cuddle Bug should not continue, or they would not just face the wrath of Bertholdt again but Reiner as well.

“Don’t forget about Annie ‘kill joy’ guys, she’s sneaky. I think she may know what we have planned,” Connie piped in, leaning back against the wall with a sheepish grin. Jean pointed at the small teen, then back at Eren. “See, even Jean agrees with me!”

“So what does Jean agree with?” Reiner’s voice made the group jump their head turning to the ladder that the mentioned male was climbing. He sat on the landing lifting a leg over the edge to rest behind the group.

“That your muscles are ridiculous and that they want muscles like yours,” Marco smiled leaning back and moving away from the circle to laze back on either Eren’s or Armin’s pillow. He couldn’t tell, didn’t really matter anyways, it was comfy. The group nodded in agreement—it wasn’t farfetched, all the guys that Marco has talked to have mentioned at least once wishing that they had Reiner’s bulk.

Reiner hummed in understanding before placing a bottle in the center of their little group, “consider this a little gift in hopes that you continue to allow Bertholdt to sleep through the night.” A grunt of agreement sounded from the bunk beneath them, were Bertholdt relaxed with an arm thrown over his eyes.

“Is that whiskey!?” Connie exclaimed making a drive for the amber liquid.

“I only get the good stuff,” Reiner’s lips pulled up in a smirk. Pleased to see that he’s obtained their attention. Even Armin, the timid one in the group, was anxious to get his hands on it. Purely for scientific purposes of course—had to see just how _good_ the stuff actually was. “You’ll only actually get to enjoy it though when you agree to leave Bertholdt out of whatever all the whispering was about.”

Eren crossed his fingers and tucked his hand under his leg; all but Reiner and Connie saw this move. “Deal,” he grinned before reaching out to make a grab at the glass bottle from Connie’s hands. The top already off and he took a sniff before bringing it to his lips and taking a sip. Eren handed it over to Armin.

“How did you get your hands on this?” Armin questioned, following Eren’s lead by taking a small sip of his own. He handed it over to Connie, who beamed and hugged the bottle to his face and gave it a loving kiss.

“Oi! Just take a drink and pass it on!” Jean hissed making grabby hands.

Reiner shrugged, “don’t concern yourself with that.”

The bottle passed around the circle before reaching Reiner, and he couldn’t help but indulge. After that they broke out in a calm chatter, one’s voice only broken when they took a sip. But they were boys, boys that had alcohol in their system. Their voices now interrupted with bellows of laughter. Jean standing with a sway in his balance as he moved to flop in-between Eren and Armin, he grinned up at Eren before winking. “Hey there,” Jean’s voice dropped and his eyebrow lifted, he grinned tucking an arm behind his head.

The group stared at the two in confusion and slight horror, unsure exactly if this was just because that they’re drunk or because of deep inner feelings. Marco held the bottle out to Reiner and he could have sworn that he felt Reiner take the bottle from him. He could have sworn it!

But the yelp and the sudden flail of feet as a large body dove to catch the falling bottle proved that maybe Marco was wrong. Connie sprang across the bed to save the falling blonde and Marco reached over to grab onto the blonde’s belt buckle and shirt.

Reiner’s fingers caught the bottle. Upside down. The amber liquid showering the floor and part of the bunk bellow him. And a large part of the person lying in the bunk as well. Reiner’s eyes widened, _I’m even worse than Eren and Armin_ , he thought in shock as his friend slowly lowered his soaking sleeve from his equally soaking face. “Bertl,” he whispered in shock as he still dangled half out the top bunk with both Connie and Marco clinging to him, his other arm loosening its grip on the edge of the top bunk the longer he stared in horror.

The grip loosened on his shirt and belt, he noticed briefly before gravity pulled him fully from the bed. He rolled, using his arm that still loosely grasped the bunk to roll him to his feet—only to fall to his knees due to the alcohol. “Bertl,” he whispered again and this time gaining the attention of his childhood friend. The dark haired teen sighed taking in the other’s appearance, only to shake his head and lift the soaking shirt over his head and throw it to the floor.

“I’m just going to roll over onto your side, alright?”

Reiner nodded his eyes unable to refrain from taking in the tan naked skin.

-

**Thanks to Target Ernie, Operation Cuddle Bug is a success.**

-

A new day began with Bertholdt waking in the dead of night in Reiner’s embrace. Their noses touching and breath mingling, his heart roared in his chest and a grin broke out on his face that he just couldn’t contain. He wiggled a hand out from under him and gently traced the outline of Reiner’s jaw, the blonde’s breathing hitched before falling back into rhythm.

“Why didn’t I figure this out sooner?” he wondered quietly to himself lowering his fingers to run across his bottom lip.

 _“The look on your face is just screaming ‘I have a crush’. You know what helps with that?”_ the memory of Jean’s voice whispered in his mind. He sealed their lips together, feeling his own hand against his face as he moved it to trail back up Reiner’s jaw towards his ear. He slowly shut his eyes and licked his lips (and Reiner’s, he forgot that he was still that close to him).

“We weren’t sure how to go by it without the possibility of ruining everything between the both of us,” Reiner whispered back. Reiner huffed tightening his arm around Bertholdt’s waist, “Annie was right—those idiots are trying to get us together,” he chuckled before placing a light peck on Bertholdt’s slacked lips.

Bertholdt’s thoughts were running too quickly, yet to damn slow. He couldn’t think of anything of actual intelligence to say. Say; why the hell didn’t Reiner tell him that _he liked him back_ , and save himself the trouble of all that denial. And maybe even the, oh I don’t know, whole thing with Krista? “W-what about all the stuff with Krista?”

“Can’t I be friendly with someone without people assuming that I like her?” he rubbed their noses together; “fucking with Ymir just makes it all the sweeter.” Bertholdt sighed—of course. Just of course… of course it’s just his luck that all that _stupid emotion_ was being spent on nothing that he should’ve concerned himself with.

The smell of whiskey still heavy on his breath as Reiner passed out against just as suddenly as he had woken up. Bertholdt groaned in annoyance, moving his upper body away from his friend—Reiner was probably going to forget this even happened.

Actually, this might have all just a weird dream brought on by the whiskey that flew up his nose… into his mouth… soaked his face… and that made the blankets beside him reek of booze. Maybe that was it—this was all just a drunken dream, and he’ll wake up half way off the bed with Jean and Connie predicting the weather.

-

“Dude I thought you were gay!” Connie shouted in the middle of breakfast that morning when Reiner simply _nodded_ at something that Krista had said. The spray of water that erupted from Bertholdt’s mouth and across two rows worth of seats covering not only Connie, but Armin, Jean, Ymir and Krista as well was forever noted in the brains of all that were present.

Never question Reiner’s sexuality while Bertholdt was drinking.

Both Annie and Reiner were left to slap his back until his breath had returned. He nodded his thanks and took a bite of the pear that Sasha had given him this meal. “Who’s to say that I’m not? Can’t a guy just agree with what someone’s saying?” Reiner shot back at the table that was whipping water from their beings.

Bertholdt choked on the piece of fruit beside him.

“Oh for the love of—“Annie grumbled giving the tanned boy a hard slap to dislodge the food.

They changed the rule to “never question Reiner’s sexuality while Bertholdt had _something_ in his mouth.

-

Reiner had been one of the last people to leave the dorm that morning, followed only by Jean. The light haired teen jogged up to him. Reiner nodded to the other before focusing his attention elsewhere—particularly towards Bertholdt and Annie who stood side by side waiting for him. “You’re look at his ass,” Jean nodded towards the two waiting just up ahead.

Reiner couldn’t help but roll his eyes, “you would know all about that wouldn’t you, Jean?” he smirked glancing at the slightly shorter male out of the corner of his eye. He had him there, he knew it.

Jean shrugged, “it’s a nice ass, I won’t hold that against you,” he replied without missing a beat.

 _Damn him,_ Reiner thought with a frown. His eyes went back to his childhood friend, down the length of his back to the white of his pants. His lips tugged up at the corner, “it is,” he agreed. And that comment was what finally made Jean pause and stare at the blonde in shock.

-

Ever since the whiskey spilt Reiner and Bertholdt has been sharing blankets, pillow and bed. Laundry was only scheduled once a week to preserve water, so the pair would have to wait for the end of the week for Bertholdt to move back over to his side.

It wasn’t like either minded. It was just like they were kids again sharing a bed and curling around each other for warmth.

This time around though, you could cut the sexual tension in the air with a knife.

-

Operation Queer Alert was failing.

Not because of Krista’s and Reiner relationship—actually it was because of the complete lack of it. Everything that Connie threw at Reiner, Reiner wouldn’t _deny_ it. He would smile, or shrug or just plan state that he’s never actually said that he wasn’t, gay that is. That he never said that he wasn’t gay.

The only reason why they agreed to keep Operation Queer Alert in process was the reactions that they would get out of Bertholdt. They were just too precious to not continue on with the dying plans. With every inquiry to Reiner’s sexuality, which was done at a near yell, Bertholdt’s face would fluster and his eyes would widen at Reiner direction before he would direct his attention downwards.

Operation Queer Alert had failed—but player “I thought you were gay!” was still in play. He would continue dragging the operation through the dirt until the mission was declared a success, or fail. And just as all hope seemed lost for Connie, Krista had placed one of the two matching flower crowns on Bertholdt’s head as he adjusted his uniform boots. Ymir had stuffed the other on Reiner’s wheat coloured head as well. Krista smiled at Ymir, “and that’s how you make it majestic,” she giggled. Sasha’s snickering grew louder as the words sunk deeper—she was referencing her operation codename.

Reiner frowned reaching up to pluck the crown from his hair. His fingers had just made contact with one of the petals as Ymir’s heel firmly planted itself against the underside of Reiner’s balls. A high pitched whine escaped his lips as he dropped clutching his crotch in agony. He’s gotten kicked or kneed in the nuts before—since sharing his bed with Bertholdt for the last few days even. But that, **that** hurt like a mother fucker. More than that even—there was nothing else to compare the pain to; it felt like she had burst one of his balls with the amount of force behind that kick.

The males in the vicinity winced, some even going as far as clutching their junk as they felt the pain second hand. “My Krista put a lot of work into those things, so you better wear them for the whole day or I’ll **remove** _your **dick**_ ,” she hissed leaning into Bertholdt’s face. The tanned boy nodded, his lips sealed tight.

And they did wear it the whole day—and no guy present for the presentation of the crown could find the situation funny. Ymir had made Reiner cry with a swift kick to the gonads; just imagine what she could do to _them_!

-

Every night they would go to sleep back to back. And within the hour one would wake and their legs would be tangled together and their noses would be brushing up against each other. “Bertl,” Reiner whispered his breath hot against Bertholdt’s lips. The black haired boy hummed, his head rubbing against their pillow as he blindly tried to push the hair away from his eyes.

Reiner smiled to himself as he brought his hand up to help in pushing the dark hair from Bertholdt’s eyes. Storm gray eyes fluttered open, “Rein—“his eyes clenched shut as his mouth opened up for a wide yawn. Reiner chuckled shaking his head before placing a kiss on the tip of Bertholdt’s nose.

“Stay away from Jean for a while—he’s acting more like a pervert than before,” Reiner grumbled, placing another peck on the boy’s face. This one on his cheek. Bertholdt yawned again, “go back to sleep, we’ll talk in a few hours.” Bertholdt nodded tucking his head under Reiner’s chin and throwing an arm over his chest.

-

Reiner had volunteered to grab both of their morning porridge, leaving Bertholdt alone and unprepared. Jean couldn’t keep the grin from spreading on his face as he set his food beside the dark haired boy, “so _Bertl_ , is the snuggling a thing you do or is it just because it’s Reiner?” He rested his chin on his upturned palm.

“Don’t call me Bertl,” he replied quickly. His nickname sounding wrong coming from the mouth of another.  Only Reiner could call him that—only he had that right.

“What does Reiner have that makes him so special?” the dirty blonde inquired, the smug smirk that marred his features made Bertholdt want to punch it off _so goddamn badly_. And he was not a violent person—but that comment, how he said his nickname—no, even he couldn’t help but feel anger. And disgust. It tasted foul in his mouth every time he would remember the fact that _Bertl_ left his lips.

Bertholdt ground his teeth together harshly, not wanting to give the other boy the satisfaction of an answer. “Oi, do you have a thing for asses or is it just Eren’s?” Reiner interrupted standing right behind the pair and not bothering to quiet his voice. 

Jean’s face flustered, watching all the eyes turn to the trio including Eren’s. _Shit. Think Jean, think,_ he gulped. “What?! No!” was what he shouted— _real smooth Jean. Real fucking smooth._

Reiner set both bowls on the table in front of Bertholdt, “whatever you’re trying to do, Jean, just remember that payback’s a bitch” the blonde threatened his amber eyes sparking with a challenge. He wanted Jean to try his luck.

Jean dropped his spoon back into the bowl, “hey now, don’t turn this around on me. I was just making a logical inquiry—” Jean tried to defend himself, but even the argument felt like a lie to him and the older boys knew it. He knew that they knew.

“Why, don’t like having your whole relationship with someone questioned?” Reiner hissed in the other’s face, his nose wrinkling in anger.

Why did people’s noses wrinkle up when they were mad, maybe it was because they were snarling and the muscles were just all attached. How did Reiner ever have a big nose—actually, Bertholdt does too. If Sasha had any idea just what lines Jean’s brain was taking she would most likely be shouting, _“And this is why they’re perfect~ together”_. Urgh, why did he go along willingly in this plan again? Marco, that’s right. His _Best._ Fucking. **Friend**.

 _That bastard,_ if he died because of this Jean was going to haunt his ass so fucking hard.

-

Sasha had stolen a cheese cake. That’s right, a cheese cake. No one could figure out where it was from, or how she could’ve gotten her hands on it. But she did. And a slice of it sat right in front of Reiner and Bertholdt. “I think you broke him,” Armin declared not once taking his eyes off the shaking brunette.

Bertholdt’s face broke out unto a grin as his fingers pinched off a piece and he popped it in his mouth. His body breaking out into pleasant shivers. “The bird fluff again,” Jean mumbled to Marco as he crossed her arms over his chest. Jean was _waiting_ for the other boot to fall; you don’t just anger Bertholdt and Reiner without _something_ happening to you. Case in point? Eren and Armin strung up in that tree.

He figured that he was next after that Bertl comment.

There was just something in Reiner’s eyes that told him that he was up to something, and Jean wasn’t sure if it’ll be embarrassing or painful—or both.

“So where did you get the cake from?” Krista voiced as she reached over to sample a piece of the left over cheese cake—before Sasha could inhale it. Sasha tapped the tip of her nose and winked.

-

Bertholdt’s eyes squeezed shut as they pressed their mouths together, a low moan massaging the back of his throat. Just wanting to escape. Their past exchange of kisses were just that, a quick exchange before one of them would whisper something to the other and they would go back to sleep.

They wouldn’t discuss it in the morning—not the conversation, nor the kissing or the gentle caresses.

Reiner worked the taller boy’s lip between his teeth and pulled. “We should,” Bertholdt groaned as his head was pulled back as Reiner took the invitation to slip his tongue into the other’s mouth. Reiner’s other hand pressing against his chest, keeping him flat against the bed. The blond wedged a leg in between Bertholdt’s knees, his thigh pressing against Bertl’s crotch. “We should talk about this,” Bertholdt’s panted, breaking the kiss.

Reiner nipped at his jaw before kissing and licking at the spots. “You’re mine ‘oldt,” he slurred voiced muffled by tanned flesh as he nipped and pulled, licked and kissed at the skin. Amber eyes focused on grey, “and I’m yours. If you’ll have me.”

Bertholdt smiled, gripping Reiner’s head, both thumbs caressing the blonde’s cheeks and holding him still as he rubbed their noses together. Just like how they used to when they were kids—couldn’t be more than four years old at the time—before pressing their lips together. “Of course,” Bertholdt _purred_ , licking Reiner’s lips and nose before moving back down to suck on his pouting bottom lip.

The thigh pressed against him pressed down, before easing off and _dragging_ against his bulge. Reiner grunted, forcing the tan boy’s legs further apart. For Reiner to slip fully between.

One of Bertholdt’s hands migrated up to clutch at short blonde hair—pulling at it—while the other clutched and pulled at the worn sleep shirt that the other wore. Reiner’s tongue meeting his as they shared an open mouth kiss—both couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of muscles rubbing against muscle. And the building pressure in Bertholdt’s gut grew. His body heating to level’s that he wasn’t sure existed.

He could fell Reiner’s body shaking along with his, could hear the heavy breaths on his face as they ground their clothed dicks together, creating both a sensual and _annoying_ feeling. If it felt this good while they were still completely _clothed_ , just imagine what it would be like completely _naked_. His back arching at the thought and the feeling in his gut exploded. A grunted whine escaping his throat as his came.

And with a broken cry, Reiner did too.

-

The players sat clustered together, their heads drawn close together as they debated new ideas as to what else they could do to actually **get them together**. Armin crossed his arms in thought, closing his eyes in consideration. “I don’t get it,” he exhaled, “everything’s going according to the plan. Operations Cuddle Bug and Take Down are completed with success. Operations Majestic Swans is going perfectly and Operation Connect the Dots is going… well. The only thing that’s failed has been Operation Queer Alert,” Armin mused.

“It must be because of the lack of the swan,” Sasha suggested with a shrug.

“Maybe they’re just not into each other like that,” Ymir stated sticking her pinky into her ear. She has an itch—why should she torture herself with that feeling just because it’s _weird_ to scratch inside your ear in the middle of a conversation? No answer, of course.

“They are—I think they’re just being stubborn now.” Jean nodded along with his friend’s addition. After all _they_ were the ones that were intrusted in gauging their targets reactions. And both he and Marco agreed that the plan were _working_ ,it was the targets that were behind the mission not reaching its closing.

The pair were in on something, and Jean wanted to know just what those two were planning.

-

The trio of Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie smirked up at their work. When Reiner promised Jean that day that karma was a bitch, he meant it. Even if the form of revenge was a little… odd. And that was stating it lightly.

“Don’t. _Move_ ,” Jean hissed through his teeth. The wires digging into his arm and leg—this was _not_ what he signed up for. He did not wake up this morning thinking that he and Eren would become entangled during one of their drills. Or that he would get a face full of his ass either. Not that—no, no Jean. It was a _horrible_ thing. He was stuck in a horrible ordeal because of _those three._

Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt.

Just look at them standing there all smug.

“Get your foot out of my face—“

“How about you get your **ass** off **my face**!” Jean shouted wiggling violently. The wires held tight as they dug further around his arm. At least his wailing made his foot stick further into the jerk’s face.

Jean’s free arm waved around in search of _something_ to help free himself from this. “I thought you would enjoy this more Kirschtein. Now you get to admire that ass up close and personal,” Reiner sneered from the ground.

 _Bertholdt did a really great job at tangling them together,_ the muscular blonde mused. How the tall male did it though, Reiner had no clue. He had left them both one arm and one leg free from the wires, but the ones that were tangled were **_tangled._** Jean’s arm couldn’t even more an inch, no matter how many times he tugged or flailed. His leg was bound to Eren’s chest, his foot just shy of pressing against the brunette’s nose.

And Eren. Ah Eren.  

He was positioned just _perfectly_ so that he was sitting on Jean’s face. With one leg tangled in both Jean’s and his own wire pointed in, what looked to be, a painful angle upwards. While the other was hooked in another a wire pulled the opposite direction. Eren was essentially doing the splits. On Jean’s face.

The rest of the group jogged over to see what the commotion was all about.

“Is that—?”

“Should we cut them down?”

Annie shook her head.

“After all the shit you idiots put us through, just be thankful you’re not strung up there with them. Right Bertl?” Reiner glanced up at the taller boy. Bertholdt shrugged before leaning down and placing a quick peck on the corner of his lips.

The group stared in shock.

“DID YOU SEE THAT? I FUCKING CALLED IT, YOU FUCKERS!” Jean screamed, the volume muffled by Eren’s butt cheeks. “NOW SOMEONE CUT ME DOWN!”  

Sasha clenched her hands, “but I just got the swan!” she cried out, burying her face in her sleeve. “Couldn’t you have waited?!” she wailed.

“STOP KICKING ME, HORSEFACE!”

“FUCK YOU!”

“NO, FUCK YOU! AND STOP KICKING ME, YOU SHIT!”

-

They would all agree that it started with Eren. The reason would differ from person to person though. The story would change as well. Some would describe it as stupid; some would say it was brilliant.

But in the end, that one thing taught them to work in a team. To analyse their opponents and utilize their assets—and to trust in each other.

Yes, the “Mission” may have begun with one, but in the end. In the end there stood many.  


End file.
